too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize