we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
