I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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