i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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