I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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