Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize