i jhust puked up my retainher.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
