Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
