Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
