Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
