I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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