your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
