wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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