For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
