took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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