there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
