i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
home. puking in laundry basket.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
