I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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