so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
