What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
