so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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