Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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