just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
