Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
