her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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