Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
