the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
