He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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