Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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