Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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