You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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