Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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