I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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