I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
