i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
