More tranny stories later!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
