I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
