i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
