i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize