you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
