I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
