we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
