I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize