My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
