even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
