but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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