OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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