who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
