We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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