Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
