Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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