My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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