honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
