Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize