He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
