Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize