we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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