It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize