Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just cropdusted the office
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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